Chinese People Love Their Slippers

Ever wonder why there's always a pile of shoes near the front door of every Chinese person's house? Because Chinese people are totally in love with their slippers. They cannot be without them when at home. Wearing shoes are forbidden when in the house so everyone has a pair of slippers for lounging around at home. Our slippers always look something like this...

Tacky you say? but to us Chinese they are a thing of beauty and a source of comfort.

We always keep a few extra pairs around for guests because it would be totally wrong for a guest to wear shoes inside the house and yet it would be extremely awkward to have them walk around barefoot like a caveman. In fact, one time my mother went into a comatose state when we had to let a neighbor into our house with their shoes on because of a foot problem. Mom never invited him back. No wear slippers! No friend!

The Chinese go into panic mode when they can't find their slippers. They'll refuse to go anywhere until they find them. I've seen it happen with my own eyes. The rest of family starts elaborate search parties for the missing slippers. Flashlight. Infrared goggles. Bloodhounds. Forensic evidence. Private detectives. You name it and it's being use to hunt down the missing slippers.

The house could be on fire and we would not make a run for the door until our feet are wrapped around the precious precious comfort of our $3.99 slippers. Such attachment to slippers is not normal for the average American, but absolutely normal to us because Chinese people are totally in love with their slippers.

Shall we begin?

Hi all. Quick introduction...

My name is Tony Wong. I am caricature of a Chinese American. I am raised in the San Francisco Bay Area so my viewpoints on all things will be from this context.

I am what my Chinese parents would call an ABC or a Banana. ABC as in American Born Chinese, pretty self-explanatory. Banana as in I look Chinese, but I think and act like that white couple next door that look like they belong in a JCrew ad (Yellow on the outside. White on the inside).

Though I was brought up in the US, that white couple next door from the JCrew ad still thinks I have an accent when speaking English. Come on guys, really? I know all my Chinese American friends have that Chinese American accent, but not me.

I speak and write Chinese, barely. Good enough to fool the uninformed and bad enough for all real Chinese people to say, "Let's speak English instead". My non-Chinese friends think I'm so awesome because I'm multilingual. But my Chinese mother is constantly frustrated trying to decipher what I'm trying to say when I'm speaking Chinese, "Hey, how come you speak Chinese so bad? As your mother, I have failed you."

Culturally, I sort of understand Chinese culture and I sort of understand American culture. Any of my white ex-pat friends who have worked in a China for a couple of years understand the Chinese better than I do. At the same time, I never really figured out the American culture because once I came home from school I was constantly being brainwashed on the Ways of China by my mother and father.

Most of this stuff I'll never admit to in person, but this is the Internet so everything's game.

This is who I am. I'm neither Chinese nor American. I am Chinese and Confused in America. It comes with the package of being Chinese American. Cheers.